Figures, doesn't it?

So now that I have very little free time, of course I have all these ideas on things to write - stories, poems, essays - and to draw. And I want to do things like take up yoga and go hiking at least once a week, if not three or four times.

I don't mean that these are just things that I think would be nice to do - they're always that. I mean now that I can't, I have this horrid little itch to do them, all of them, right now. I find myself dreaming up wonderous short stories that I'm just sure would become best sellers if I could only take the time to put them to paper. I see images behind my eyes that would boggle and enchant art critics world-wide. I feel the need to stretch, slowly, lazily, calmy.

I am almost restless with pent-up sudden motivation.

Before school I had idle time on my hads. Saturdays were often spent sitting at the computer playing Sacred, sprawled on the couch reading a book or sleeping. Evenings passed relatively slowly, spurred only slightly by the necessity to have eaten dinner by seven so that I could take my allergy pill at nine. Harry often sat scaled nd green on my arm or shoulder to watch Animal Planet with the boy and I.

Now, once home, it's right back behind a computer again and reading, reading, reading. Studying. Learning. And hours later when I'm yawning so much my eyes are watering so that I can no longer see the screen, it's into bed till work tomorrow. I may still be able to salvage Saturdays, or at least part of the day, but even that lazy day is beginning to look like it will be spent learning and proving that I'm learning well with endless writing assignments.

Not that I mind writing, of course. It's just not the kind of writing I want to be doing right now.

Rather than discussing issues of international sovereignty, employment, resources, ethics and gross domestic product, I want t write about people.

I have an idea for the diary of an old, old vampire - an elderly grey haired lady reminiscing on the past and looking somewhat apprehensively towards the future as she begins to realize that even after several thousand years of 'life,' she's dying.

I want to draw leviathans - frothy mouthed Moby Dicks overnturning whaling ships, showing the twisted scars of old, tiny harpoons on their underbellies. I want to detail the barnacles, and leave afew things to be seen slowly: the mermaid-thing peekign over the edge of a blood-foamed wave, the single albatross feather drifting slowly down onthe scene from above - a harbinger of the doom the leviathan returns to the crew.

I want to rework old poems taht had great starts but sloppy endings. "Old spider-webby skull-white moon/Bobs low on black horizon, smiling/Like Death's head greeting the saints/Who forgot to pray/After/Questioning faith ..."

It figures, of course. Where was this motivation two weeks ago, two months ago? Where was it when I was bored and so sat doing nothing for an hour or so, only to get up because sitting there was boring?

Where was this motivation when I had the time to act on it?

Sigh.

Ok then

So, I may have been just a wee bit hasty in my declaration of "Dean's List, here I come!"

Maybe.

This is tough. As in, I knew it was gonna be tough, especially watching my boss go through it before me, but I didn't really understand just how tough it was gonna be until I put all my assignments on the calandar and got to it. But, after a freak-out session last night (my uber-Cancerian nature sticking it's ugly head out again) I think I'm gonna be ok.

I think. Maybe I'll shoot for the Dean's List next semester, and just get the hang of things this time and see what happens. Yeah. Sounds good to me.

Today's the day

Today's The Big Day. My online classes have officially started, and my first assignment is due this Friday (should I consider it an omen - good or bad - that my very first assignment is due Friday the 13th?) Needless to say, I've got a few butterflies rolling around in my tummy, but that's to be expected, really, with such a brand-new situaton; I've never taken online classes, and as of this minute and hour, what I know of marketing consists of only the little bit I learned in my high school economics class (which was only half a year long, the other half of the year being taken up by my government class.)

High school was a ling time ago. Seven whole years ago (gods, I feel old). And though I did outstanding in that econ. class, I know that what I'm about to learn will be a hell of a lot more complicated, and economics is only part of it.

I know I'll do fine, though. I'm smart and a fast learner, and I have my boss to watch for warning signs. He's taking classes at the same college, only in managemnet instead of marketing, and the first half of all our classes are the same. He started his classes during the last semester, so he's one step ahead of me, giving me the opportunity to sort of look ahead. And, although he is by his own admission a slacker when it comes to school stuff, he got all or mostly A's (I honsetly can't remember) last semester, so I see it this way: if he can do so very well by just doing the minimum amount of work, I know I can make the Dean's List, because I don't want to just get the degree for my resume; I want to actually know this stuff, and know it damn well.

So, fluttery tummy aside, I'm excited.

I'm a bit irked as well, though — we have to write everything in APA Style, which is just fine with me as far as the in-text citations go. But the references page at the end? Good gods, man, who are the sado-masochistic asses who came up with all that?!? Why not simply have one style for references, and then differentiate the types of publications used by grouping them? For instance, first you'd have this nice little header that says Books, and then a list of all the books used. Then you'd havea header that says Journals, with a list of journals listed in the same style as Books. Then Websites, Television Shows, Book Reviews, what have you - all followed by lists of those materials, but all in the same style as Books.

Why do we silly humans insist on complicating the holy hell out of things that have no legitimate reason whatsoever to be complicated?

Sigh.

So, I'll stick to books and websites, so that I only have to bother with two styles, instead of the literally 40+ possible styles for the 40+ different sources of information that one could possibly use. There - that will be my "slacking off." And if any one of my professors bitches about it, I'll personally hop on the next bus or plane to Colorado and shove the APA Style Handbook somewhere where it probably won't fit easily or comfortably ...

Otherwise - Dean's List, here I come, butterflies and brains and all.

NOTE: This means, of course, that my posts here will be fewer, but I will strive for at the very least two posts a week, hopefully more. We'll see.

Sly Park in Winter

I know. It's summer. But these are still some of my favorite photos. Enjoy.

Oh, joy ...

Eeet eees beeyootiful, no? :)