Weirdness meme

So, rather unexpecetdly, I've been tagged for a meme simply by reading a friend's blog. Well, ok, so it's not really an official tagging when said blog post begins with "TAG YOU'RE IT," but, well, it's 9:08 p.m., I have no school stuff to do (taking this term off to move), the boy is doing music-type stuff on his new laptop (late birthday present from lil' ol' me), and damnit I'm bored and need to get my mind off of the excitement of moving. Since, you know, I can't start packing and moving right this instant, which I want to do.

So. I'm submitting to the meme tagging, and present you now - purely for entertainment purposes - ten weird facts about me. You can submit to the tagging as well if you'd like and post your own ten strange facts about you, but you don't have to. You can just point and laugh at mine if you wish.


1. Just to get this started right, allow me to let you on to a guilty secret. Anne Rice got to me. I want to be a vampire. Yeah, really. Like the realistic, romantic and kickass and whiny and artsy and schitzoid and wonderful characters from her books. The part that sucks (heh, heh ...) is that no matter how much I want to, and no matter how many weird ghost-related things have happened to me in my life to make me believe in ghosts, I can't bring myself to believe in vampires. I try, I really do - it just doesn't work.

Um, any real vampires who may be reading this are more than welcome to make me a believer, though ...


2. I believe in ghosts. Have since I lived in Germany as a kid and we had a bunch of 'em in the attic (footsteps which would magically stop as soon as someone would open the attic door, no matter how long they stood right outside the door, listening to a horde of people walking around, back and forth, directly toward the door, directly away from it, etc.). The real deal sealer for me though was that one night one of them preceded my step-father and I down from the attic to our apartment door, footsteps only, just a few feet in front of us - it stopped three times when we stopped, then walked the rest of the way down the stairs to the front door when we stopped a fourth time, eyes and mouths wide, me hiding behind step-dad.

Creepy as that stuff is, I fucking love it.


3. I love the smell of a tattoo parlor - it's like a drug to me. Probably the smell of the ink alone is the major appeal, being an artist and all (new books do it to me too). But the mixture of ink and hot metal and raw flesh - and yes, blood - is just it. If someone could bottle that and sell it as perfume, I'd marinate in it. Or if it was made into incense, I'd have a cone stuffed up each nostril.


4. I have come up with strange food concoctions, many of which are better than most homemade, down-home, "just like grandma's" meals that most people salivate over. My favorite is what I call simply 'burrito goop.' The recipe is as follows:

a) Put two frozen microwaveable burritos in the microwave and heat for about 30-45 seconds, just until they'r soft enough to cut into little chunks.
b) Cut into little chunks, and sprinkle a generous amount of sharp cheddar over them.
c) Heat for another 30 seconds, then add a bit of spicy salsa and more cheese, and heat once more for one minute.
d) Remove from microwave, add ranch dressing, mix into a pile of goop, and enjoy.

No really - I dare you. It's delicious.


5. My preferred non-alcholic drink is 3/4 Dr. Pepper, 1/4 lemonade. Goes great with burrito goop.


6. Until I returned to America from my six-year stay in Germany as a very young kid, I didn't know racism was alive and well today. My school there - an American school for military brats - had us wee ones believing racism magically ended when slavery did.

Talk about culture shock.


7. I like to draw strange, dark things, like unicorns corrupted by demon claws or meat hooks and made into psychotic, too-wide-grinning, bulging white-eyed Night Mares. Further, I love the look on people's faces when they see those drawings after knowing me only as "the sweet young lady who smiles and is so nice and helpful." It's sort of like taking off the mask for a moment, winking, and whispering, "sshhhh - it's a secret."


8. Sometimes I dream of being an uber-top-secret, scientifically-experimental, biologically-, chemically- and all other cool ways-modified, military-ordered human weapon. I've escaped from the lab, am chased by the feds, and deliver a twisted but wholly accurate brand of justice to the wicked, sliding quiet and unseen through dark shadows. I never get caught, of course - just bloodied up a bit, and my reputation precedes me.


9. My imagination is vivid enough that I can scare myself shitless just by thinking about things like clowns, ventriloquist dummies, and what half-rotted, grinning ghoul/zombie/skeletal face I'll see when I turn over to face that empty space beside the bed late at night when I can't sleep because some something woke me up. I can keep myself awake for hours, terrified to move or even open my eyes. (I don't believe in vampires, but the gibbering, mad undead is totally possible.)


10. I like to dip french fries in vanilla milkshakes.


*straight face*

And what's really scary is that those are all true.




... Tag. You're it.