Remember, remember.

This term is going by really fast, and I'm only on the third assignment. The group project - the big scary one each term that makes up a whole quarter of our overall grade - is due next Friday. Granted, thats a few full weeks earlier than most other classes have their group projects, but even knowing that, I'm nervous. And even knowing that so far this class has been a breeze (even only three assignments into it) doesn't help that.

Sigh. I need more hours in the day. I need a dishwasher. I need a vacation.

None of those will happen anytime soon (although I've been comparing dishwashers and - at least without delivery and installation added in yet - I've found one a good $150 cheaper than the ones I'd been looking at before).

I am trying to see the positive things in life, not just the constant negatives, but it's hard when you don't get enough sleep because of all the negative - or at least damned challenging - things.

Along with the gushy stuff - a man that loves me, kittens that purr for me, a roof over my head - I have some other niceties to remember. I have my own yard to sunbathe in. I get to drive the jeep everyday (because I haven't learned yet to drive the new Honda, which is a manual). I've gotten some of the color on my backpeice done this year, and on my birthday I'm having the snake's color fixed on my arm. My hair is longer - long enough to pull back in a no-longer-dorky-looking ponytail.

Aside from a few short but endurable instances, my gastritis has not bothered me much this year. Although my arthritis has gotten worse, in talking with Mama Wren I'm learning there are things - new drugs - that can be done about it, as soon as I find a new doctor.

The path to my front door from the road is gravel, with house on the right and trees on the left arching over the path to create a green, shimmering waving tunnel to walk through. With the visit from the plumber last week, we now have a water spigot outside for watering plants and such (and a toilet that no longer rocks or smells bad even when we haven't done anything to stink up the place).

I just got a bunch of fruits and veggies yesterday, as a kick-start to a healthier diet and llifestyle. Matt, although not jumping for joy, is willing to change his diet, too. As soon as I can get Mama Wren on the horn I'm starting up the morning walks again, now that Matt's shoulder is letting us both sleep better, and that makes me happy.

Matt and I have decided to get married during the break between my Bachelor's degree and my Master's degree, instead of waiting the three years or more that it will take me to finish both. My best friend will be coming to visit either this Saturday or the next, and I haven't seen her in a very long time. The local Brewfest (lots of local brewers giving away tastes - glass-fulls of it - of their best brews in the shops along historic Main Street) is at the end of this month, and I'm going for the first time.



These are the things that keep me going, despite wanting to run away and hide in a hole somewhere far away from everyone when things get rough (and they've been pretty rough lately). Although it's not easy to think of them when I'm trying to juggle too many other "important" things, I need to try to do so. Sometimes these things will hit me when I least expect them to - while washing three sinkfuls of dishes, say - and I'm left stilled and smiling, kind of happliy shocked that even in the midst of chaos, life is actually pretty good. Scary, yes, but good.

An official vacation is tentatively in the works. The good friends who helped us move and who we then helped move in turn will be heading over from Arizona for a few days in August. It's her 21st birthday, and he promised her they would spend it in Las Vegas. They invited us to go along, too, even offered to pay for our room if we culd just get ourselves there. So, if finances and work allow (and I'll make school work out one way or another) we're goign to Vegas in August.

I've never been there, and as a much needed vacation, it sounds like a little bit of heaven.

That's one more nice thing in my life to remember when things get dark.